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Monday, February 18, 2013

Mahesh: My best friend

Mahesh Prakash, son of Shri Gyan Prakash ji from one of our family wing (Our ancestral family became too big, so it was known by its three different wings, namely mahelwale, kothiwale and our own wing.)- kothiwale.We were childhood friends. We were together in Chandpur and later in Meerut. Later he went to study Law in Lucknow University and I went BHU for my further education. We were known as the best friends .There are so many things which will will always remain in my memory. He was caring , dependable and most trustworthy person I ever had around. We had very clear understanding about each other, each other's feelings, emotions and needs.
He was not very intelligent but quite witty and sharp in conversation. He was always practical in his approach. He never had any second class in any of his examinations though in Law as there was no third division in that subject. He had several sisters and one brother . All his family members including his parents were living with him in Bijnor since he started his legal practice. He was fortunate having the succession of the most famous lawyer of Bijnor . Shri Jagdish Prashad left for the High Court leaving behind his office to be taken over by then his legal assistant, Mahesh. He took over nicely and within very short time he was very successful lawyer in Bijnor and became very popular in the District. Earned lot of money, constructed a big and nice house in civil lines; He took the responsibility of all his family members; sisters got married; brother got educated; He loved his family and took good care of all of them. He had earned all the means and resources. I feel sorry and sad that he could not do much for his own family- two daughters and a son as he died young prematurely leaving all of them on their own fate which was really bad for them. He died young at the age of fifty only with a prolonged illness of Neferitis Syndrom; perhaps, he could have been saved if his kidney would have been replaced timely. Knowingly or unknowingly, no body took care of his poor health what he deserved. My last meeting or to say departing meeting was in one of the evening when myself, Suresh and he had dinner together in his house. His office was taken over by his assistant, Subhash who later became very successful and popular like him. His parents died soon after his death as they were under great shock and stress because of their beloved and worthy son ; his son could not complete his education and entered into bad company and developed bad habits. His whole family was dislocated, had all kinds of problems; sold their house in Bijnor, shifted to Ghaziabad; almost ruined; rising to the top and then falling to the bottom; terrible end of his name and fame etc.A pure play of destiny. Rise and fall was dramatic and very sharp. I have yet to see so sudden rise and so sudden fall and such a case of pure play of fate and destiny especially of his wife Usha who has gone through all this play. A wonderful family with all happiness, riches and resources broken down to almost nothing. 
It looks like that he came for a purpose to settle down his parents family who all of them nicely settled.
July 2012: Virendra told me that his wife Usha died of blood cancer recently. I simply said that it is good for her that she is relieved from all these long sufferings. In fact she suffered in so many ways- financially, physically mentally, and socially . A lady who lived like a queen in riches and style, lived in rags and in miserable conditions after the death of her huuband.
I feel sorry and sad about his family. At time to time, I feel about him, his absence and his family. He will ever remain in my memory.

Status of daughters ( girls ) in our family

In general, the status of women in our society used to be very poor which of course has changed and improved a lot of recently with new developments in women education, awareness of rights, changing socio-economic environment in new trend of globalization, media etc.The status of daughters/ girls in our family , not of women ( daughter-in-laws ) , if I look back to several generations back was very poor. I could recollect the data upto the generation of my grandfather; My grandfather were five brothers and only one sister- RAM KATORI, married in Nehtaur; now completely forgotten family.I wonder if anyone  knows about her and her family? I observed ( during my childhood time ) that out of five brothers, she used to come to only our place at least once in a year. She used to come by herself alone , perhaps without any invitation or escort. She had two sons, I never saw the elder one, Shri Musaddi Lal ji, though I knew and met several times the younger one- Shri Damodar Das as he used to live with his sister, Smt Daropdi Devi in Chandpur. We knew  Buwaji, the daughter of Dadiji and her family as they lived in Chandpur. We had very close contact with them. I wonder if any of her brother cared for her not that they did not love her. Perhaps, she was the next to my grandfather ?
In the next generation of my father, the three brothers had one sister, CHAMELI DEVI, Married to Shri Ram Kumar Arya, Dhampur. The same story with her. I never observed that she ever visited her two other brothers, she used to visit only to our home in Jhalu, alone ; I never saw Phupaji visiting anyone in our family.She is also forgotten and her family is simply not known to most of us except my younger brother, Lakshmi Narain who lived with her for some time. I wonder if Rakesh or Dinesh know her and her family at all. I wonder if the same situation remains with the daughter of other grandfathers; though I know , Smt Sumarni Devi , daughter of Shri Chhangi Mal ji; and some of the daughters of Shri Behari Lal ji, especially Gyan Buwaji who used to live in Bijnor. Indraji, Kamlaji and Ramlaji, three daughters of Shri Har Prasad ji were quite known to many of us as that family was most visible
Among five of us, we had two sisters; One is dead prematurely and another younger one is widowed about two years now. Let us evaluate their situation; Lakshmi and her family is almost forgotten except for special occasions; Nobody cares for them; I am not saying about the reasons as why is it so.
With the exception of special occasion like wedding , daughters in our family were not seen much.
In my next generation, we have Sapna and her brother Sameer; Manish and his sister Radha and Ankur and his sister Dolly.Considering the effect of globalization, limitation of time with individuals, increasing distances and personal problems and priorities, I wonder that situation would be any better of our daughters in the family.
Cousins are cousins, who cares for them, relationship with them is very loose and fragile and fades away with time.
During our generation, Time was not the constraint; everyone had enough time for each other; Distances were small, most of the relatives used to live within 50 miles or less; most of the relatives were known to each other very well and closely; visits were quite frequent and very routinely on special occasions and festivals, though the means of transportation were very poor- Bullock carts or motors lorries on some routes , if not every day, once in a week or so. Fairs and festivals were the occasions when people used to meet each other.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

SENIORS: Care for them

Every living being needs food.. Your aged parents are alive and therefore, they too need it. . But that is not the only thing, they need; They need your love, affection, care and consideration .These are not very expensive. Nor time consuming . Just a casual 'bye dad, eat in time ', while you leave for your office-. you have made his day ! Say a few words about your work or politics or traffic jam, sitting close to his bed. - you have offered a sound sleep for him. How effortless it is, to make the elders happy! My father, after a hard day's work, used to go to his mom, arrange her bed,( though my mom would have already done it) and exchange a few words on topic of interest for her... 'Why is he furnishing an income and expenditure statement?" My mother used to wonder." She should know how much money I make; I am aware of the sleepless nights, she spent worrying about my future ", he would reply.
" Wear your belt, properly, dad.'' My daughter.
" Insert shirt uniformly, dad ?' My daughter in law.
Who bothers if an old man's waist belt skips a few loops or his shirt- folds sink an inch hear and there ? But such alertness of the children and anxiety to see I go out well dressed, give me contentment . While doing pradakshinam in the Guruvayaoorappan temple some time ago, my sister who accompanied me, noticed that the jarigai borders of my veshti were unaligned and admonished me , "anna, you don't even know to wear a veshti correctly." Though she was not far away from truth, I chided her for diverting her attention from the God to my cloth
Later, when I moved away from the magnetic field of attraction of the Divinity, I felt pride in my sister's consideration for me . And that is how the old minds work!
More than food, clothing and shelter, what the elders need is the feeling that they are useful, they are needed, they are not an unwanted appendix for us. The depression created by the feeling that they have no role to play in anyone's life, might even lead to suicide or wander astray, away from home. To avoid that, they have to be entrusted with some small work, which you consider, are easy and safe for them to handle. "
" Appa , please count these notes and give me the figure." You know already the value, but still give him an opportunity to count the currency you have earned. 'amma, keep my food ready, I might come back early today " You repeat the instruction already given to your wife and it is she who is going to keep the food ready. But your demand from your mom excites her; she enjoy musing your young days when you used to go home running from the school shouting, 'Amma, pasikkarathu, I am hungry"
My wife used to consult my mother every morning, 'amma, what to cook today?". The old lady would suggest some menu, the younger one might or might not go by that, the elder one never used to ask for an explanation for the change and in case there were a query, a pleasing answer would have been there.
There is a charm and challenge in raising your children. It is a much easier task to handle the elders.
And of course, elders too should treat the younger ones with affection They should deserve what they desire .
Few points for old/retired people.
(1) Never give opinion to your wards regarding buying house,dress, furniture etc. for they know very well how to manage the show...
Yes! Unless asked .
(2) If possible teach your grand children few Shlok on Lord Vinaayak, Goddess Saraswaeei etc.,.  ...only gently teach them and never force them.
(3) Volunteerly ask son, daughter-in-law whether they require any assistance in attending domestic chores..... mostly they would not like to take help from you. Even we can offer them any financial assistance if we have sufficient bank balance.
(4) Never ask them to buy you any items other than medicines.
(5) Unless asked never bring in topics like your schooling, how you struggled o bring them and all. AND never ask about their salary, bank balance liability etc.
(6) If we old people keep silence and stop asking anything from our children, they will love you.
( taken from a group as I thought to bring it your notice )
 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

LORD GANESH

108 Names Of Lord Ganesha

No. Name Meaning

1 Akhurath One who has Mouse as His Charioteer
2 Alampata Ever Eternal Lord
3 Amit Incomparable Lord
4 Anantachidrupamayam Infinite and Consciousness Personified
5 Avaneesh Lord of the whole World
6 Avighna Remover of Obstacles
7 Balaganapati Beloved and Lovable Child
8 Bhalchandra Moon-Crested Lord
9 Bheema Huge and Gigantic
10 Bhupati Lord of the Gods

11 Bhuvanpati God of the Gods
12 Buddhinath God of Wisdom
13 Buddhipriya Knowledge Bestower
14 Buddhividhata God of Knowledge
15 Chaturbhuj One who has Four Arms
16 Devadeva Lord of All Lords
17 Devantakanashakarin Destroyer of Evils and Asuras
18 Devavrata One who accepts all Penances
19 Devendrashika Protector of All Gods
20 Dharmik One who gives Charity

21 Dhoomravarna Smoke-Hued Lord
22 Durja Invincible Lord
23 Dvaimatura One who has two Mothers
24 Ekaakshara He of the Single Syllable
25 Ekadanta Single-Tusked Lord
26 Ekadrishta Single-Tusked Lord
27 Eshanputra Lord Shiva's Son
28 Gadadhara One who has The Mace as His Weapon
29 Gajakarna One who has Eyes like an Elephant
30 Gajanana Elephant-Faced Lord

31 Gajananeti Elephant-Faced Lord
32 Gajavakra Trunk of The Elephant
33 Gajavaktra One who has Mouth like an Elephant
34 Ganadhakshya Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
35 Ganadhyakshina Leader of All The Celestial Bodies
36 Ganapati Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
37 Gaurisuta The Son of Gauri (Parvati)
38 Gunina One who is The Master of All Virtues
39 Haridra One who is Golden Coloured
40 Heramba Mother's Beloved Son

41 Kapila Yellowish-Brown Coloured
42 Kaveesha Master of Poets
43 Krti Lord of Music
44 Kripalu Merciful Lord
45 Krishapingaksha Yellowish-Brown Eyed
46 Kshamakaram The Place of Forgiveness
47 Kshipra One who is easy to Appease
48 Lambakarna Large-Eared Lord
49 Lambodara The Huge Bellied Lord
50 Mahabala Enormously Strong Lord

51 Mahaganapati Omnipotent and Supreme Lord
52 Maheshwaram Lord of The Universe
53 Mangalamurti All Auspicious Lord
54 Manomay Winner of Hearts
55 Mrityuanjaya Conqueror of Death
56 Mundakarama Abode of Happiness
57 Muktidaya Bestower of Eternal Bliss
58 Musikvahana One who has mouse as charioteer
59 Nadapratithishta One who Appreciates and Loves Music
60 Namasthetu Vanquisher of All Evils & Vices & Sins

61 Nandana Lord Shiva's Son
62 Nideeshwaram Giver of Wealth and Treasures
63 Omkara One who has the Form Of OM
64 Pitambara One who has Yellow-Coloured Body
65 Pramoda Lord of All Abodes
66 Prathameshwara First Among All
67 Purush The Omnipotent Personality
68 Rakta One who has Red-Coloured Body
69 Rudrapriya Beloved Of Lord Shiva
70 Sarvadevatman Acceptor of All Celestial Offerings

71 Sarvasiddhanta Bestower of Skills and Wisdom
72 Sarvatman Protector of The Universe
73 Shambhavi The Son of Parvati
74 Shashivarnam One who has a Moon like Complexion
75 Shoorpakarna Large-Eared Lord
76 Shuban All Auspicious Lord
77 Shubhagunakanan One who is The Master of All Virtues
78 Shweta One who is as Pure as the White Colour
79 Siddhidhata Bestower of Success & Accomplishments
80 Siddhipriya Bestower of Wishes and Boons

81 Siddhivinayaka Bestower of Success
82 Skandapurvaja Elder Brother of Skand (Lord Kartik)
83 Sumukha Auspicious Face
84 Sureshwaram Lord of All Lords
85 Swaroop Lover of Beauty
86 Tarun Ageless
87 Uddanda Nemesis of Evils and Vices
88 Umaputra The Son of Goddess Uma (Parvati)
89 Vakratunda Curved Trunk Lord
90 Varaganapati Bestower of Boons

91 Varaprada Granter of Wishes and Boons
92 Varadavinayaka Bestower of Success
93 Veeraganapati Heroic Lord
94 Vidyavaridhi God of Wisdom
95 Vighnahara Remover of Obstacles
96 Vignaharta Demolisher of Obstacles
97 Vighnaraja Lord of All Hindrances
98 Vighnarajendra Lord of All Obstacles
99 Vighnavinashanaya Destroyer of All Obstacles & Impediments
100 Vigneshwara Lord of All Obstacles

101 Vikat Huge and Gigantic
102 Vinayaka Lord of All
103 Vishwamukha Master of The Universe
104 Vishwaraja King of The World
105 Yagnakaya Acceptor of All Sacred & Sacrficial Offerings
106 Yashaskaram Bestower of Fame and Fortune
107 Yashvasin Beloved and Ever Popular Lord
108 Yogadhipa The Lord of Meditation

 
  GANPATIBAPA AAP SABHI KI MANOKAMNA PURI KARE!!!!!!!!!!
 
GANPATI BAPA MOURYA!!!!!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Virendra Singh NEGI

Mr. Virendra Singh Negi was our good friend almost from the beginning we landed in Ibadan , Nigeria. He paased away in November, 2010 after a brief illness of two years; lungs and urinary problems; He was a mechanical engineering graduate of Roorkee University of 1950s. He belonged to DehraDun where he had his lot of property in Karanpur and on Sahstradhara Road - worth crores of Rupees now. He was very hard working, sincere and humble person . In Ibadan, in that Match Factory where he was the Chief Engineer/Head of Technical services, was running the factory almost alone in all capacities. He had very few friends among Indian community but we had very close relationship with him.. He very affectionately cared for us. He had a son, Rajendra, two lovely daughters , Lakshmi and Rukmini; Mrs Negi was very simple and modest lady. The whole family was very nice and caring. We had lots of mutual visits to each others places.
I have been searching him through all the possible sources for years but fortunately, I found Rajendra on Linkedin social network and I was reconnected to his family  just a few days ago. I feel sorry and sad, knowing that Mr. Negi passed about two years ago.I miss him a lot. I wonder he must be passing his time in his retirement without any work.
This morning, I called Rajendra, talked to him and his mother and expressed my feelings about our friend.

Monday, September 10, 2012

SHIV

Please go to the following link to read about Lord Shiva, Shive temples, Jyotirlings, Shiv Puran , importance of Rudrakash, Rudra Abhishekam and many other aspects about HIM including more website links about HIM:

http://sushmajee.com/shiv/index-shiv.htm


and for very comprehensive stuff on religion and spirituality, visit:

www.sushmajee.com

Monday, September 3, 2012

Stories; lesson giving stories

http://sushmajee.com/stories/general/10-akbar.htm
10-Akbar and a Girl Read also   Akbar and Birbal Stories
The emperor Akbar was a very religious king. He used to sit for his Namaaz (Muslim prayer) five times daily. Once when he was traveling. It was time for his prayers, so he spread a sheet by the wayside and sat down to pray.
It so happened that a young girl had promised her lover that she would come to meet him. And the lover had said that if she did not come by a particular hour he would leave. She was late so she ran to the rendezvous point. While running to meet her lover, she stepped on the sheet on which Akbar sat in meditation. Akbar was infuriated and when she returned a few minutes later he accosted her and said in an angry voice - "Can't you see? How dare you step on this sheet?"
The girl said - "I am sorry, but I was in a hurry. I had to meet my lover, I was already late. If I did not meet him on time he would have left. While running I did not notice the sheet. But, by the way what were you doing here on this sheet spreading on the wayside?"
"I was praying ." said Akbar.
The girl said - "Then how did you know that I had stepped on the sheet? It means you were not meditating. Were you with God or were you looking at me?"
REFLECTION
This story shows more devotion of the girl to her lover as she did not know that she stepped on the sheet while less devotion of Akbar who cold know who stepped on his sheet. The devotion means forgetting about everything else, becoming completely lost in one's Isht is true devotion. You cannot reach God like this. There has to be determination. Just catching hold of His feet won't get you anywhere. No one teaches a river how to merge into the ocean. It just rushes and loses itself in the latter's vastness. This too is an important achievement of life. Just as laughing and crying are inseparable parts of life similarly life is incomplete without this fusion. You have to lose yourself completely, only then shall you gain something worthwhile.