My life and my Destiny 2

 Passed my B.Sc (Physics, Maths and Geology ) in 1958; Initially , I was not interested in further education especially to go for Geology or Mathematics , but later some how I tried my admission to Lucknow University for LLB; I stayed with Prof Gyan swarup Sharma, then Dean of the Law Faculty; He was from Jhalu , cousin of Shri Om Prakash Sharma - a very close family friend. Could not get admission because of late; though not interested in Geology but on the advice and recommendation of Prof Raj Nath, I tried my admission with Aligarh University ( with a letter of Dr Raj Nath in the name of Prof Sapru, the Head of the Dept); could not get admission; So, it was too  late to seek admission to any programme in any University this year. DESTINY decided that I must try something else during this year.

I tried some teaching jobs here and there however landed in SJ High School Gajraula for a short period. Detailed account of my job , life and experience is given in another blog;  https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/7434278182063497637/1652779700775160573

I got very rich experience of  managing to live and survive with bare minimum facilities; knowings that the private schools are run as commercial ventures; also teaching various subjects including English to High School students.

I never liked Chemistry as it cheated me at Meerut College and I have to waste my one year that. But DESTINY forced me to work as a Chemist in my second job in Katni. Detailed description about is already given in another blog ; https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/7434278182063497637/2473737783465933451

That job provided me real good , rich and practical experience working in a private enterprise .

The story of Destiny goes on explaining as how it controlled all my decisions and actions in life. I had no control for any aspect of my life , education, career, marriage , family life ( including children or my parents etc) . I did what it dictated me and I followed the course like a river , meandering on its way, finding its way to destination.

My life and my Destiny 1

When young, I never realized many facts of the life as there was no time to look back and assess the events of life. As usual, most people are busy in making the career., looking after the family and extended family ; busy at job and many such things. It is the retirement when, you are free from such activities and you have time to go back and look into past happenings and analyse them with new perspectives and perceptions with cumulative knowledge and experience through all these years of life.
I feel that my life was guided and shaped perfectly by my destiny especially after 1953. I passed my High School Examination with good scores . Having no more facility for science education in Hindu Inter College, I decided to go DehraDun to study Science for my Intermediate Examination at DAV College- one of the best school around in those days. I had no guides, mentors or consulars and my parents and family members were not capable to guide me for my education and career. Who decided to choose DAV College for my further education? my destiny !!! I was living in Pooran  Ashram (Hostel on the campus ) sharing the room with Satya Prakash Agrawal from Jwalapur - a very serious and brilliant student. My grandfather, Shri Har Prashad ji once came from Muzaffarnagar to visit me and guided and directed me to change the subjects from Biology to Physics and was switched over to Chemistry, Mathematics and Physics Group as he thought it would provide me wider opportunity for my career instead limiting myself only for medical career with Biology group. My course of career was changed for ever. Destiny guided my grandfather to visit me and advised me, rather forced me to change the courses. The College was good with very good teachers who cared about good students and especially about me. Laboratories were good. The education was of very high quality. I was satisfied with my education and environment and rest of the things. I made some very good friends in a very short period. I liked the place and I wished if I could live here for ever. ( Perhaps, GOD listened to me and kept in mind for some other time; Later in 1961, I got the job with ONGC with its Head Quarters in DehraDun ). If I would have continued over here, my career and life would have been different. But, my Destiny changed the course of my life again.

Some times in Late August, I got a letter from the Principal of Hindu Inter College that they have started Science courses over there and I must join back the college. Thinking that I will enjoy to live at home with my Nani who loved and cared for me so much, without any second thought , I came back to Chandpur .  This changed the course of life again- the DESTINY. This new environment for science courses did not provide appropriately good education and motivation and hence lost my scores to second division mainly based on my memory not understanding the concepts properly ( not realized at that time ).

Joined Meerut College for my B.Sc. I have separately written about a loss of my year education over there: Read that blog here; It was designed by my destiny to leave this college and place for some other program in its plan for future. Having no reasonable idea as why should I go to BHU for my further education, I went there. why ?? Even my friends and parents asked me as why should I go to BHU? I did not know for sure?? Even , my attempt to seek admission to BHU was half-hearted; In-spite of the fact that my admission would be cancelled if I did not deposit the fee in time, I paid only some amount , a fraction of the fee, not full.I did not like Chemistry, so I decided to take any other combination without Chemistry. The best option was Physics, Mathematics and Geology ( known popularly in BHU as PMG group.) Knowing nothing about Geology, I chose this subject but in the first and orientation class Prof Mukherjee told as what we have to study in Geology and had shown the Books, Holms Physical Geology, ........ for all the various branches of Geology; It was so scaring that I went back to College office to change it for any other subject but College office refused not to make any changes at this time. All the programmes were finalized by then. Destiny decided to go for this group. Perhaps, preparing me for Geophysics as PMG was the requirement of admission for post graduate programme in Geophysics.
The story is getting longer, I passed my B.Sc. in 1958; continued.........

Lost opportunities

What we get in life is just according to our prarabhad  ( प्रारभ्ध ) ! several opportunities come in the life but we get what is reserved for us. At this stage of life, in retirement when I go back to the life journey, I find that I lost many very good opportunities , here I would like to give a few important ones which have changed the direction and the situation ( दिशा तथा दशा ) of my life .
1. ACADEMIC opportunity with BHU:
I was a very favourite student of Prof. Rathor , who was my guide also for my M.Sc. Thesis. I was his  most trusted student ( He gave me even an examination  Question Paper to set for final examination on his behalf) .Prof Rathor wanted me to join the Department as Assistant Professor and simultaneously register for the Ph.D research. He even discussed the topic for Ph.D. work and the whole process of completing the work and also the future academic program and career. I would have been certainly benefitted  under his  care  and my future would have been safe and successful under his  guidance. I would have been a faculty of a very prestigious University not only of India but of the world. A house on the campus, academic environment and an institution with full of  activities. etc etc. I missed the opportunity. DESTINY never wanted me to go that way.

2. HIGHER EDUCATION in Canada :

My external examiner for my M.Sc. Thesis was Prof A.E. Beck, Professor and Head of the Department of Geophysics, University of Western Ontario, London, Canada. He was very much impressed with my thesis work and invited me to work with him for a Ph.D. program. He was quite keen and interested  that I should join his Department. I missed the great opportunity by declining his offer as  my own priorities and responsibilities at that time were different and forced me to take that action. When I think about that opportunity now living in Canada as what could have been my life and career if I would have come to Canada in 1961 ( almost 60 years ago). Unthinkable and unimaginable . Lost the opportunity . DESTINY never wanted my life to be that way.


3. ONGC:
I joined ONGC in 1961 with my first attempt of interview. Dr. Hari Narain, One of the Superintending Geophysicist ( SG) , next to the Director, Mr. B.S.Negi in seniority was the Chairman of the interview Board, Mr. Sengupta, and Prof. Amlendu Roy were the other members of the Board. During the interview process , Dr. Hari Narain asked me to show the copy of  my M.Sc. Thesis to him and all the members of the board, complimenting my work that this report has given the idea of the Offshore prospecting  about which even ONGC did not know so far. He further told that he was the examiner of this thesis work and he was very much impressed with it and thinking to write to the Department of Geophysics, BHU that he wanted to see me.
I was selected and enjoyed working with ONGC till December 1976 in different positions, different kinds of responsibilities , doing different kinds of work; Obtained very rich experience . Describing my work and experience will take very long space here, hence some other time and in another context. ONGC is and was the best organization in India to work. . My Director, Shri S.N. Talukdar was not happy that I was leaving ONGC and even mentioned that if I wish he could get the whole process reversed for me to join back. Any way, now when I see my friends and colleagues who retired from ONGC, nicely settled with all the facilities one could think of, I feel I committed a mistake. I came later in 1980 to visit India and went to see Mr Talukdar . In fact he really helped me out of way  to get my Visa for Nigeria. He invited me for the breakfast at his home, though I was little shy to be with such a high ranking person, I visited him at his home; He was then Member Exploration and told me that if I was still interested to come back to ONGC. He will fix me with proper rank and salary etc. Also mentioned the concept of Voltage and Amperage  (Power and Income); He gave me time to think about it. I declined the offer and certainly lost the opportunity to work for ONGC and enjoy the life in my retirement like my friends.  DESTINY never wanted me to live that kind of life.

4. LAND in DehraDun:

I have been looking for a small piece of land to construct a house. I got a very good deal and arranged the land for my friends and well wishers; The plots were taken by Mr. Talukdar, Mr Mathur, Mr.MC Agarwal, Mr. MP. Agarwal, Mr Chaudhry and me; it was a great location on EC Road , very near to MKP College ; I decided to go to Nigeria hence returned all the papers for buying the land , deciding not to buy the land. Others constructed nice houses and enjoyed living in DehraDun: The cost of land appreciated not hundreds of time but thousands of time because of Uttrakhand and its capital as DehraDun , Lost opportunity;

Another land piece just by the side of my younger brother , Mohan was available to me through Pradeep Gupta : Mohan took half the land for Rs.20,000/- and the double of it on the corner side ( roads on three sides while Mohan had only on one side) was offered to me for Rs.40,000/- not grabbed , recently sold for Rs. 10 Lakhs. Lost opportunity; 

Thus, lost academic opportunities to get better qualifications and career  ( Twice) ; Lost my wonderful career with ONGC; ( Twice ); also lost financial gain opportunities by not having land in DehraDun ( twice); Well, I very strongly believe in  DESTINEY which carried me along as it was decided.

God has His Own Designs

Once God commanded his messenger (an Angel), "Proceed to Delhi immediately. The life of a middle-aged woman is coming to an end. Bring that soul (Jeev) here." The messenger. as bid by the Lord, left for Delhi. On reaching the place, the Angel was stunned at the sight that awaited. There, in an old dilapidated small hut, the Angel saw a poor young woman lying unconscious in a pool of blood. She had given birth to three baby girls only an hour earlier. One child was feeding from its mother while the other two were lying on either side of their mother.

The scene touched the heart of the Angel. Tears welled up the Angel's eyes and the Angel was angry at God for having asked it to take away the life of such a young woman. The Angel thought, "Oh, How could God be so cruel? Unaware of the situation in its entirety, He goes about giving commands. If I obey His command now, what will happen to these baby girls? If the woman's life is spared for another 10 years, these girls will grow up and might be able to support their lives by some means. How could God do this without thinking of these? Oh, I can't take away the life of this woman so mercilessly. I am not concerned about the anger of God that I might incur by disobeying His commands. I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS." Deciding thus, the angel went empty handed to God.

Angel begged God to spare the life of the lady and add 10 more years to her life. The Lord smiled at the Angel and said, "It is I who have appointed you as the Angel. Your job is to take away the life of the human beings once their lifetime ends. And that's it, I have blessed you with the required skills on my own accord. From your words I gather that you believe yourself to be endowed with more intelligence and compassion than Me, the Supreme Being. You dare to teach me how to manage the world that I have created by my will. You have to suffer the punishment for disobeying my orders. I punish you to lead a life of an ordinary human being in the same city of Delhi. You will remain there until you laugh at yourself twice for your foolish behavior."

And Lo, The next moment the Angel took a human form and was standing in the Delhi Caunnaught circle without appropriate clothes to cover its body. It was the month of January and was bitter cold outside. The angel stood there shivering with cold. A cobbler who was passing by took pity on the Angel, bought clothes and gave them to the shivering Angel. The Angel thanked him and said, "I do not have any place to stay either. I will be very grateful if you give me shelter too." The cobbler said, “Don’t worry! Now that we are friends, you can stay with me at my place. But I warn you, my wife is very short tempered and one cannot prejudge her action when she gets angry. She will not stop from even throwing vessels. If that is ok with you, you can come with me". The Angel nodded and followed the cobbler home.

When the wife of cobbler got to know that he had bought clothes for the Angel with the money meant for buying clothes for her kids, her anger knew no bounds. She started cursing the cobbler and started throwing vessels at them. The Angel was also badly hurt. The Angel laughed at its foolishness for the first time, for ignoring the warning of its friend. From that day, the Angel started helping the cobbler in making sandals. The Angel designed various shoes imitating the ones it had seen in Heaven. The shop soon became very famous for its fabulous and rare shoe designs . Thus, 12 years rolled by.

One day the Angel was standing in front of a cloth store, that it saw a rich old lady getting down from an expensive car. Three beautiful young girls followed her. The Angel noticed that the three of them had a trident shaped mole in their right cheek. The Angel immediately recognized them to be the children of that woman whose life God had ordered it to take away 12 years ago.

The Angel went to the old lady and enquired if those girls were really her children. The old lady replied "Not really. About 12 years back, I was going in my car near Caunnaught circle. that I suddenly happened to hear the cry of kids. I went to the hut from where the cry of the children was heard and found these three baby girls lying with their dead mother. I had lost my husband and had no children. I adopted these three kids legally. I have educated them well and now they are the sole heirs to my entire property."

The angel wad dumb-founded. It thought, "Oh, How very foolish of me to have analyzed the orders of the all-knowing God with my small little brain. If that woman had not died then, would these kids be leading such a happy and rich life now?" And for the second time it laughed at itself for its foolishness.

[God knows what He's doing (for all of us). Only God should bless us with the realization that all that happens to us is by the will of God and it is indeed for our own good.]

This nice story is taken from "

http://sushmajee.com/stories/index-stories-1.htm

sushmajee.com

http://sushmajee.com/shishusansar/stories-educational/32-god-design.htm

Know yourself and your history

I would like to re-post this article for the information of my friends;


June 12, 2015
Knowing Your History
Unearthing Your Roots

by Madisyn Taylor

Knowing where you came from helps bridge the gulf that divides your past from your future.

Each of us is a piece of a larger puzzle. We are all born into the unique and complex network of individuals, settings, and circumstances that constitute our heritage. Whether or not you are aware of your ancestors, you family’s country of origin, the cultural history of your people, or the trials faced by the people responsible for bringing you into the world, these forces have had a hand in shaping your values. Knowing your family history and reflecting often upon your own personal history as it relates to your heritage empowers you to look at your life in a larger historical context and to understand that you are a vital part of an ongoing drama greater than yourself. 

Researching your heritage can prepare you to meet the future. The traits of your ancestors can give you insight into how your character has developed and the beliefs that form the foundation of your worldview. The knowledge you gain can help you appreciate your values and your character, giving you the confidence to be more expressive where both are concerned. At a cellular level, you carry a genetic code from your family determining things like how you age, your blood type, and personality traits. But as a spiritual being you bring in what you chose to do with that genetic coding, your free will. Unearthing your heritage is not simply about uncovering who did what when or reconnecting with long-lost relatives. Rather, it is a method of building self-awareness and bridging the gulf that divides your past from your future. 

In researching our individual histories, however, we may encounter relatives who made interesting choices or were involved in traumatic events. It’s easy to overestimate the importance of these pieces of our past and to cling to them. Balance is key. While your heritage has influenced the development of the person you are today, you are more than an ethnicity, a culture, or a family name. You should not feel driven to alter your likes and dislikes, dreams, preferences, or values because you feel your heritage demands it. Knowing your history is about loving who you are, understanding where you’ve come from, and preparing for your future. 

Whatever has to happen, will happen

Posted on April 8, 2015

Destiny is very strong which guides and controls all our decisions and actions. Although according to typical human nature, we think that we are in control of our actions and events, and we can change them with our efforts, but this is not so.
There are many such stories given in the literature. A recently published book by Sushma Gupta; https://www.scribd.com/doc/254965698/Whatever-Has-to-Happen lists a few such stories  showing that Destiny is much greater than man-made efforts.

Well those are stories taken from books, but here, I wish to narrate a true incident of my own experience. It was 1962 when I was working in a field party of ONGC and that was my first job and assignment with ONGC. We were working in Moradabad and Badaun Districts of Uttar Pradesh. Mr. P. N. S.Chauhan was one of our party members and was working as a field surveyor. Initially, I was living with him and another surveyor, Mr. Tuteja. Mr Chauhan was a very nice person with all the good traits – personal and professional.
It was the month of May, peak of the summer and we were camping in a garden near Bhakarauli, Badaun. One day Mr Chauhan was looking very sad and worried. On asking he told that he knew that in the same month he was going to die in an accident.

We did not believe him and laughed at it. He took all kinds of precautions not to involve in any kind of accident. He pitched his tent outside the garden to avoid the fall of the tree, although it was very hot outside. He would not light the lamp inside the tent to avoid any fire accident. (We had already witnessed a fire accident in the camp in the month of January when the tent and belongings of one party member, Mr Sharma, were completely destroyed). He was not only taking these precautions but he did not marry also for this reason only.

Mr Saxena, our Party Chief, was kind enough to give him rest from the field work so that he could avoid any kind of accident in the field or while traveling in the jeep or anywhere else. Mr Chauhan became very quiet and was not talking to any one. He would like to be alone; very careful in his actions to avoid any kind of accident. He would go for evening walk alone and sit down on a culvert on the road side. The traffic on the road was almost negligible especially in the evening.
The final day to meet his destiny was coming nearer. He was sitting on the culvert as usual. Normally, no body used to go out of the camp for any work or duty in the evening. But this evening, as the Destiny of Chauhan had decided, Mr KC Saha, one of our party members was going to Moradabad for certain work. It was only one and a half hour drive from the camp. So Mr Saha would come back to Camp within four hours or so.

Mr. Saha insisted Mr Chauhan to accompany him for this short trip. Mr. Chauhan tried his best to avoid this trip and convince Mr Saha not to accompany him for the said reason but Mr Saha dragged him to the jeep to accompany him. To meet his destiny and the bad luck, he joined him in the jeep taking the outer front seat.

After an hour, it became dark, jeep was in its full speed and then there was a road cut to build a culvert there. There was no sign posts for the repair of the road. It was dark, driver could not see the ditch ahead. The jeep fell in the ditch.

The jeep was completely destroyed in the accident. The driver and Mr Saha were injured badly and were admitted in Moradabad Hospital but poor Chauhan could not escape his death from the accident. Since, he was sitting on the outer seat of the jeep, he was thrown out with a big thrust, died on the spot, perhaps instantly.

Later when we got the news from one truck driver going on that route, we sent a rescue party; could help the other party members but we could not do anything for Mr. Chauhan as he was already dead.
Mr. Chauhan took all the precautions but destiny had its own plan and he could not save himself from it in spite of all the precautions.So, whatever was to happen, happened.

Born only to suffer; miseries, miseries and miseries only.

A strange but true story of a person who was born to suffer throughout her life. The story is of one of my grandmothers who lived very near to us in the main big family house.
Shri Jagan Nath was the second to youngest brother among five brothers of my grandfather . He died very young, even before I was born and after his death, his family met a very tragic end. I was told that he was not smart and very active person with no means of earning.  He was not very capable or able person to do any thing meaningful in life. He was perhaps the poorest of all his brothers, in all respects. His family gave him responsibility of attending social obligations on behalf of the family ( such as attending wedding ceremonies, other functions in the community, and funerals etc).
My grandmother was born in another nearby town, Tajpur- a famous Riyast in our region. They were two sisters with entirely different fate/destiny to live their lives.

She was married to my grandfather while the other sister was married into a very rich and prosperous family in Bijnor. Shri Ajit Prasad was the top most lawyer of those days in Bijnor . There is no comparison in the lives of the two sisters. One enjoyed the best of the world while the other suffered through out her life with all kinds of miseries and pain.
They had two sons, Krishan Kumar and Om Prakash (commonly known as OMI); all their uncles, especially one of my grandfathers, Shri  Bihari Laj ji  ( who retired as Executive Engineer, and settled down nicely in Delhi) tried to improve them and to EDUCATE them but of no avail.  They had very poor IQ and EQ. They did not do any thing in their lives except loafing around and living on the little income they had from their property and support from the family members(our family  was very strongly bound, collective and united family, impossible now to imagine that kind of cooperation and feelings for each other in the family); They lived  in extreme poverty and very miserable conditions. They had very little intelligence, common sense or understanding otherwise. All of them in that  family came together having very poor destiny. My grandmother had, perhaps the worst kind of fate, never saw any thing good in her life, very pathetic. I never saw her wearing a nice dress, eating good food etc. She struggled through out her life with poverty, starvation and all kinds of miseries.
After having two sons , she became widowed at a very young age. She had to bear the responsibility of bring up her two sons alone. They tortured her through out her life at every stage as they were born with a specific purpose to trouble her and make her life difficult and miserable. She lived in the other house of the family though used to come to our house on a daily basis for something or the other. She was comfortable only with our family. She was never free from problems and troubles. She was very nice person by her nature, very loving, affectionate and soft spoken person.  Though surrounded with all kinds of problems, I never saw her angry or disappointed. I had special consideration and great sympathy for her. I always had a desire in my heart to help her in any way. I always visited her and asked for her welfare. Her sons used to beat her to extract at even the smallest thing she had and used to ask her to come us and ask for money etc.My own family helped her in all possible way, all the time.
 I never saw her praying or worshipping, going to temple etc. as, perhaps she had lost her faith in God. I never saw her visiting any other person or family except our family. Almost socially isolated.
Years passed, her sons though now grown up and adults , but never came to age even to help themselves. Always bothering their mother for their needs.

Her younger sister in Bijnor who was very rich and prosperous visited  her very often and wanted to help her every possible way. But according to the social system an elder sister will never take any help from her younger sister, hence my grandmother never took any help from her. She tried to help her sons in all possible ways but of no use and it was somewhat never ending.

The last part of her life is really pathetic and worth mentioning here. Baba Har Prasad ji, once came from Muzaffarnagar and scolded Dadi ji that she is the only one who has given her sons undue shelter and support and spoilt them. Let her come with him to live in Muzaffarnagar  leaving them alone behind on their fate. This way they will learn their lesson and will do something to live with out depending on her. Fed up with her situation and every day trouble from her sons, she decided to go with him to Muzaffarnagar for some time After she left they started doing some thing here and there as no options left for them., Krishna Kumar  was working in a watermelon farm as watchman , was caught by LOO ( very hot and dry air during the month of May, causing dehydration and many other ailments to the population) and ultimately by severe Cholera suffered a terminating situation and died in a very short time, all of a sudden. Due to poor transportation and medical facilities in the town, he could not be given adequate and proper treatment. Perhaps, he could have been saved if timely help was available for him to take him to District Hospital in Bijnor.(Perhaps, he was not alone, as in those days, how many would have died in the town with out proper or adequate medical facilities?). Dadi ji was called back immediately after his death from Muzaffarnagar, and for what? Just to mourn her elder son. She was terribly shocked and saddened and was broken down from this event. She was very much unhappy, angry, frustrated and disappointed with everyone in the family. She had no option except to accept the fact of the life. She became very quiet and silent after she lost her elder son.
My grandfather, assessing the situation, thought perhaps the marriage of the younger one may bring some relief to her and a difference in her life. He  arranged the marriage of Om Prakash, the younger one with a  girl from a village in Garhwal . Our family arranged this marriage(rather bought that girl for Rupees 5000/-, which was very common practice in those days for the rich people). Anandi Chachi was one of the most beautiful women in our family. She was quite young and certainly no match for Om Prakash who later never cared for her, never treated her as his wife, had no love, attraction or association at all with her. It was his incapability to give any importance to any relationship , not only to his wife. However, it gave some consolation to Dadi ji in her grieved situation. She got busy in looking after her with some hope for the future. The burden of expenses, directly and indirectly came to my grandfather.
Time passed and Dadi was blessed with a grandson, very handsome boy . She forgot all the previous sufferings and got busy looking after  the child. She was very happy, satisfied and contended with this changed situation. I used to go very often to meet Dadi ji as I had great sympathy with her and she was also very affectionate to me. She was very glad whenever I visited her. Once, she asked me that I must take care of this boy and develop him. I promised her to do so and she had a trust in me. I also decided that I will do my best to bring up the boy . After a few years, when the boy was about five years old, he got very severe attack of smallpox and died with its complications(again a case of poor medical care and facilities at home and in the town). Dadi was completely shattered and completely exhausted with the calamities and miseries of life; tolerated the loss of her husband at her young age; tolerated the death of her adult and fully grown son and now the last hope of the beloved grandson is also gone. After the death of her son, frustrated and ill treated by her husband, Chachi ji went back her home in the hills not to come back again. Dadi ji was left alone to bear all the sorrows and loneliness. She died soon after that. No one cared for her son Omi after her death.  He wandered here and there and survived perhaps a few years with bare minimum resources and died in mysterious circumstances. The government did all the last rites. During his last years of life for his survival, he sold out whatever property was left after the death of his mother ( a small house, some shops etc.) .
This is the end of the family, their property, and everything . I do not understand as why God punished Dadi ji and that family so much that they never saw any thing good in their life except the troubles, miseries and sorrows all the time. VERY TRAGIC END. I do not understand the purpose of their coming to this world and their existence.

year after my B.Sc; 1958-59

Though academically the year after my graduation in July 1958 was lost but I got very rich experience of my life during this year. I was aware that I was not good at Maths and Physics , so I did not try my admission for post graduate studies in these subjects. I was reluctant even to go for Geology. However at the last moment, I tried my admission for Geology and even for LLB . Prof Raj Nath could not admit me in BHU and Prof Ganju in Aligarh ; Prof Gyan Swarup,( from my Home town Jhalu, a cousin of our family friend, Shri Om Prakash Sharma)  being the Dean of the Law School at Lucknow University could not help my admission . So I accepted all this as programmed by my destiny and watch as what is going to be the next.
To keep myself engaged, I tried to get some thing to do : Tried to seek some work as a volunteer at my Alma Matter , Hindu Inter College , Chandpur, no luck; tried here and there but no luck any where. Finally in December, I got an opportunity to work with S J Inter Collge, Gajraula. Read in detail about this experience at; . htmlhttp://shubhkamnadavendra.blogspot.ca/2010/07/my-first-job.html
Fortunately , I got a job of Chemist with Dyers Stone Lime Company at Katni. This provided me very rich experience of life to deal with varied situations. A detailed description about it is given here:  http://shubhkamna-davendra.blogspot.ca/2010/07/my-job-as-chemist.html.

If I look back at this, it reveals to me to be an act of destiny; not getting admission to any academic programme; not getting a proper job even as a volunteer; getting a job as a Chemist - a profession I never planned or thought of, rather I never liked the subject of Chemistry. Why should I apply for such a job for which I never thought or planned? But I was quite successful in this job to the extent that my employer was ready to hire me on my terms. This also added to my experience to seek my admission in Geophysics- a subject with only a few seats at post graduate level and with wide open opportunities for jobs and career; . Admission with a scholarship of Rs.150/- PM  - almost equivalent the salary of an Asstt. Professor. A reward in disguise.
At the end I do not feel that I wasted my year; It was all planned and designed by my destiny to be like that and I was only  guided to act   in certain manner.

Born to suffer only; miseries, miseries and miseries only.

A strange but a true story of a person who was born to suffer through out her life. The story is of one of my grandmother who lived very near to us in the main big family house.
Shri Jagan Nath was the second youngest brother among the five brothers of my grandfather . He died very young even before I was born and after his death, his family  met a very tragic end. I was told that he was not smart and very active person with no means of earning.  He was not very capable or able person to do any thing meaningful. He was perhaps the poorest of all his brothers in all respects. Family gave him responsibility of attending social obligations on behalf of the family ( like attending wedding ceremonies, other functions in the community and funerals etc ).
My grandmother was born in another nearby town, Tajpur- a famous Riyast in our region. They were two sisters but with entirely different fate/destiny to live their lives.

Se was married to my grandfather while the other sister was married in a very rich and prosperous family in Bijnor.. Shri Ajit Prasad was the top most lawyer of those days in Bijnor . There is no comparison in the lives of the two sisters. One enjoyed the best of the world while the other suffered through out her life with all kinds of miseries
They had two sons, Krishan Kumar and Om Prakash ( commonly known as OMI ); all their uncles, especially my one of the grandfather, Shri  Bihari Laj ji  ( who retired as Executive Engineer, and nicely settled down in Delhi ) tried to improve them and to educate them but of no avail.  They had very poor IQ and EQ. They did not do any thing in their lives except loafing around and living on the little income they had from their property and support from the family members ( our family  was very strongly bound collective and united family, impossible now to imagine that kind of cooperation and feelings for each other in the family); They lived really in poverty and very miserable conditions; They had very little intelligence, common sense or understanding. All of them in that  family came together having  very poor destiny . My grandmother  had, perhaps the worst kind of fate , never saw any thing good in her life, very pathetic. I never saw her wearing some nice dress, eating good food etc. She struggled through out her life with poverty, starvation and all kinds of miseries.
After having two sons , she became widow at a very young age. She has to bear the responsibility of bring up her two sons alone. They tortured  her through out her life at every stage as they were born with a specific purpose to trouble her and make her life difficult and miserable. She lived in other house of the family though used to come our house on daily basis for some thing or the other. She was comfortable only with our family only.She was never free from problems/troubles. She was very nice person by her nature , very loving and affectionate and soft spoken person.  Though surrounded with all kinds of problems, I never saw her angry or disappointed. I had special consideration for her and great sympathy for her. I always had a desire in my heart if I could help her in any way. I always visited her and asking for her welfare. Her sons used to beat her to extract even the smallest thing she had and used to ask her to come us and ask for the money etc.My own family helped her in all possible way, all the time.
 I never saw her praying or worshiping, going to temple etc.as , perhaps lost her faith in God. I never saw her visiting any other person or family except our family. Almost socially isolated.
Years passed, her sons though now grown up and adults , but never came to age even to help themselves. Always bothering their mother for their needs.

Her younger sister in Bijnor who was very rich and prosperous visited  her very often and wanted to help her every possible way. But according to the social system an elder sister will never take any help from her younger sister, hence my grandmother never took any help from her. She tried to help her sons in all possible ways but of no use and it was kind of never ending.

The last part of her life is really pathetic and worth mentioning here. Baba Har Prasad ji, once came from Muzaffarnagar and scolded Dadi ji that she is the only one who has given her sons undue shelter and support and spoilt them. Let her come with him to live in Muzaffarnagar  leaving them alone behind on their fate. This way they will learn their lesson and will do something to live with out depending on her. Fed up with her situation and every day trouble from her sons, she decided to go with him to Muzaffarnagar for some time After she left they started doing some thing here and there as no options left for them., Krishna Kumar  was working in a watermelon farm as watchman , was caught by LOO ( very hot and dry air during the month of May, causing dehydration and many other ailments to the population ) and ultimately by severe Cholera suffered a terminating situation and died in a very short time , all of a sudden. Due to poor transportation and medical facilities in the town, he could not be given adequate and proper treatment. Perhaps, he could have been saved if timely help was available for him to take him to District Hospital, Bijnor. Unfortunate and helpless situation . ( Perhaps, he was not alone, in those days, how many would have died in the town with out proper or adequate medical facilities ). Dadi ji was called back immediately after his death from Muzaffarnagar , for what, just to mourn her elder son. She was terribly shocked and saddened and was broken down from this event. She was very much unhappy, angry, frustrated and disappointed with every one in the family. She had no option except to accept the fact of the life. Became very quiet and silent , after, she lost her elder son.
My grandfather, assessing the situation  thought perhaps the marriage of the younger one may bring some relief to her and a difference in her life.He  arranged the marriage of Om Prakash, the younger one with a  girl from a village in Garhwal . Our family arranged this marriage ( rather bought that girl for Rupees 5000/-, which was very common practice in those days for the rich people ) . Anandi Chachi was one of the most beautiful girl in our family. She was quite young and certainly no match with Om Prakash uncle who later never cared for her, rather never treated her as his wife, had no love, attraction or association with her. It was his incapability to give any importance to any relationship , not only to his wife. However, it gave some consolation to dadi ji in her grieved situation. She got busy in looking after her with some hope for the future. The burden of expenses, directly and indirectly came to my grandfather.
Time passed and Dadi was blessed with a grandson, very handsome boy . She forgot all the previous sufferings and got busy looking after  the child. She was very happy, satisfied and contended with this changed situation. I used to go very often to meet Dadi ji as I had great sympathy with her and she was also very affectionate to me. She was very glad whenever I visited her. Once, she asked me that I must take care of this boy and develop him. I promised her to do so and she had a trust in me. I also decided that I will do my best to bring up the boy . After a few years, when the boy was about five years old, he got very severe attack of smallpox and died with its complications ( again a case of poor medical care and facilities at home and in the town ). Dadi was shattered and I think completely exhausted with the calamities and miseries of life; tolerated the loss of her husband at her young age; tolerated the death of her adult and fully grown son and now the last hope of the beloved grandson is also gone. After the death of her son, frustrated and ill treated by her husband, Chachi ji went back her home in the hills not o come back again.. Dadi ji was left alone to bear all the sorrows and loneliness. She died soon after that. No one cared for her son , Omi after her death.  He wandered here and there and survived perhaps a few years with bare minimum resources and died in mysterious circumstances. Government did all the last rites. During his last years of life for his survival, he sold out whatever property was left after the death of his mother ( a small house, some shops etc.) .
This is the end of the family  the property and every thing . I do not understand as why GOD punished Dadi ji and that family so much that they never saw any thing good in their life except the troubles, miseries and sorrows all the time. VERY TRAGIC END. I do not understand the purpose of their coming to this world and their existence.

Prarabhadh

This is subject which has been discussed very widely in many discussion groups. Fate or Free will, Destiny or Destination etc. I just want to put my thoughts in a very simple way;

A person is born in a particular family, community and society;
A person is born as male or female;
A person is born in a particular place, a village, town, city, India, Ethiopia, Nigeria or America etc;
A person is born in a desert, an island, mountain .... later, even migrates from one place to another according to his circumstances;
A person is born to be a specific professional- a doctor, engineer, scientist, businessman, or an ordinary laborer; a butcher, hangman, Priest ....
A person is born as a beggar or a rich, a king or a minister, a President or a doorkeeper etc.
A person is born as a believer or nonbeliever; a christian or a Hindu or in a tribal with no faith or religion etc; or later, even may change his alliance from one faith to another;
Thus a person is born in any dual situation which may even be changing from time to time;

But certainly, one has no choice to choose his parents and his siblings though later he has the choice to maintain the relationship with any one around.
Therefore, one thing is very clear and certain that in many ways, one does not have a choice what to be or not to be. That establishes the concept of PRARABDH (cumulative results of our actions in past lives) and one is born as he is born to some one, in some place at some time etc. Later also, most of his actions are governed by his DESTINY / Fate etc. which is controlled by his Prarabdh though individual feels that he is what he is because of his own actions and choice etc.

A few example may be cited here;
Ms Sonia was married to Rajeev Gandhi in Gandhi-Nehru family to be Sonia Gandhi - to be what she is to day;
Accordingly RAHUL JI is born to be what he is to be destined....
While poor Sanjay Gandhi died prematurely...
Obama was destined to be, what he is today.

In fact, all of us are living our life, short or long, which is already destined, or what we are supposed to be and to be doing...

Chronic Diseases and Philosophy of Karma

Reproduced an article by Udaya Kumar in Homeopathy and more, May 2009;

Most of the times, human beings forget that the they are formed out of two entities. That is "Matter" and "Spirit".

Just the same way as the "matter" gets degenerated and becomes diseased, the spirit also faces its consequences in the form of sufferings. We call these phenomena as body and mind, sickness and sufferings.

It should therefore be well understood that there is always a spiritual factor, a spiritual design, in more than half of what is happening all around us. This metaphysical half is mostly not understood well by science.

The idea of my explaining this is that, in an acute disease, normally the sufferings are immediate, acute and short-lived by the design of the malady itself and therefore the cosmic consciousness has little role in it and the doctor has more roles in it. Because in acute diseases the mental sufferings are less and bodily pains are more.

But in the case of Chronic ailments, there is a Karma factor, a sin factor, a faith factor, a destiny factor, an action and reaction factor, a cause and effect factor,a time & TIME factor, all come into play along with the Cosmic consciousness we call God. Here the question comes when should we interfere in a chronic patient who by the design of God is supposed to suffer for a period of time. Will it be like working against the nemesis and design of God to interfere in between and get the person relieved from the sufferings? Does it antagonize the God?


A further legitimate question and doubt by a mortal mind would be "What the hell are the doctors doing then? Yes they are treating and taking money. There responsibility to some extent is seemed to end with the money falling in their drawers. Then, aren't these doctors supposed to create a society devoid of diseases? Are they really doing that? Why? The fact is that they aren't. Because, the nobility in the doctors have been lost somewhere in the annals of history and therefore, the number of diseases are also increased and their flourishing depends upon the number of diseases and patients.

Well, this somehow fits into the larger plan of God. Those who are destined to suffer will suffer despite the presence of doctors, because doctors do not pay enough attention to go to the root of the problems and cure so that they create a healthy society rather than cure or suppress the diseases only.

In such a scenario, the question is when to attend to chronic diseases and chronic patients. My answer to this malady is that, attend to the
Chronic diseases only when the person comes to you and request to you. Do not go to the person or chase the person, as you are trying to do now, and give him the medicines to correct him. Here, Self- satisfaction becomes prominent and at the same time you are criss-crossing the God's design of sin and punishment, if at all it is there, the karma and the results.

I only wanted to stress on the point that one should not be chasing the patients rather the patient should chase and meet the doctor on his own when his time for cure destined summons him.

The conclusion is that., if one is designated by the Cosmic designs to work as a healer, come what may, the patients who are destined to be cured will reach the healer immaterial the distance, time, place, or communication facilities. And if the right person comes at the right time to the right healer, it should be presumed that the right medicine will come to his finger tip and its application would cure the person miraculously. I have many instances, and have no doubts whatsoever about that. I have picked up many times from 200 or more medicines placed in a box at random the exact medicine I wanted without checking the labels. It does not happen always. But it do happen many times that I cannot call it co-incidences.





God and human soul are fundamentally same thing. The only difference is God Wills to run the cosmos or macrocosm and human beings have been given the power of will to conduct himself to run his microcosm. It is not in the mandate of human beings to run the world or cosmos, he is overstepping there and all the maladies are result of this overstepping.

How he conduct his business is not a concern to God. The cause and effect theory is applicable to human beings. Wherever, he uses his Will and conduct things, the effect of that action is his. Whereas with many revelations by Shruti, Smriti, Prophets and Maharishis and Saints, there is a set procedure made through religions etc. how to conduct the life according to God's Will and not individual Will. There the action and its results are positive and attributable to God's ways. Karma is not a behaviour, it is the individual will and its results and that includes Thought, Speech and Action. Thought includes what you see, what you hear, what you feel, what you taste, what you smell.

Shri Krishna has well explained Karma Philosophy in totality in Bhagwat Gita. We mortals can understand that partially but cannot add anything to it because the Shruti or the revelations from the Cosmic Consciousness is finite.

A human being makes around 60,000 thoughts in a day. The person you are quoting to me as good may not be having all those 60,000 and odd thoughts in the positive way. What he thinks about is manifesting with him. For. e.g. if he thinks "I want money" all the time, without giving any thought to what ever happens around him and focused so in thought speech and action, there is no reason money should not come to him. Because his thoughts have been reduced to a handful from the 60,000. But if he thinks "my neighbour has lot of money or how is that he has money I don't have" these are negative thoughts and will not bring in money, and he will be utilising his maximum thoughts in a day for nothing. Similarly "I want to be healthy" should be the thought and why is it I have diseases? what kind of disease is this? etc,. dwells upon disease and suffering and not on health. So the sufferings comes to him. Because all actions following the thoughts are against what you actually want. Therefore, what you want do not happen and blame the results on God.

Karma is nothing but selfless thought, speech and action. Do not think about the results. If you start thinking about the results, the results becomes your thought and you are not actually thinking on the substance and its result will not be favourable for you. In other words, you spend your present thinking about future and past which are not helpful to anyone. You have to be in present and think only about the present. If you are doing something put your heart and soul into it and that would be your future and that would always be success. This is the secret to success and secret to future.

About people who are spiritual. I do not have Guru nor intent to have one as each one of us have been blessed with the Godly presence in us and its realisation is all what is required for a person to achieve the purpose in life. The path will become clear to you when that realization dawns on you. The principle here also is that those who come automatically to you and give an advise or two which you mostly require is the real Guru and not the ones we chase day in and out and worshiped by some. That is only a path to creation of a religion or sect and cannot be path towards God. One can always take God himself as Guru and proceed. He will show you in times of need where to go. If such mystical experiences are coming to pass, then the search may go on. But not until then. Human consists of spirit and matter and not matter alone, therfore, it is important that the doctors who deal with human beings understand both rather than just identifying it as psychiatry and psychology only. Everything should be understood in this world by definition and not by name. Understanding the things in the world by just names limit the sphere of thought and leads to brain contraction and not brain expansion.



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