RELATIONSHIPS:
An individual is born in a family, at a place or at a particular
time according to his/her prarabhad ( a balance sheet of deeds of
previous lives ).A person is born in Ethiopia or America; Rajiv
Gandhi in the family of Nehru;.....etc.etc.Accordingly, we establish
our relationships depending upon where, which society or family and
time , we are born as many things depend upon the norms of the place
and the time (this is supposedly known as conditioning of the
individuals which in turn develops various traits of the
individuals
including the faith and beliefs etc. ).
We have various kinds of relatives and different relationships with
them :
FAMILY RELATIVES: Natural affiliations, provide an opportunity to
associate with our parents , brothers and sisters ( the immediate
relatives in First category); Uncles ( paternal and maternal ) and
their children (cousins) (the next immediate relatives in 2ND
category);they are genetically related to us, mostly born and brought
up almost in the same environment; Let us analyze their
characteristics- How different are the children from their parents or
from their own brothers and sisters in their life styles ( nature,
behavior, communication , speaking, eating, dealings etc. in several
respects ). This difference further increases among 2ND category
relatives for obvious reasons, however
ASSOCIATION we develop makes a
lot of difference. ( Association here means living together and
dealing with each other very closely ; the strength of RELATIONSHIP
is directly proportional to the amount of association with each other);
FRIENDS: Self created affiliations, create/ open opportunities for
better and longer association; perhaps, more responsible , dependable
and
concerned- but there are only a few in this category.( though
loosely, we call many as our friends ).
COLLEAGUES: automatically affiliated relationship at work place and
other places of activities; again professional relationship provides
an opportunity for closer association as you spend maximum time in
life with them ( at least 8 hrs per day ) interacting, having lunch,
coffee etc. together; ( perhaps, we spend more time with professional
colleagues at work place than one spends even with his/her spouse or
ant other family member ) CLASSMATES and HOSTEL MATES during
schooling period also provide similar opportunities.
.
SPOUSAL RELATIONSHIP ( Conjugal Relationship); the most unique,
strange, permanent and ever lasting relationship. Two strangers meet
at certain point in life and then by the ritual of wedding, they
become wife and husband and consequently by virtue of marriage , all
the
others in two families of in-laws become relatives automatically
( most of them unknown before ). Though all the relations are made in
heaven but Marriage is especially mentioned as made in heaven. This
relationship and association develops and progresses in several
stages in life:
Passion Stage ; Stage of intimacy;Immediately after the marriage ,
people feel that they are made for each other like Ram and Sita, Shiv
and Parvati etc. Nature/GOD has designed certain forces which
influence the people to develop close intimacy, care, affection ,
love and interest of all kind for each other. The time period of
immediate intimacy and relationship varies according to the
conditioning of individuals (Conditioning: family,social,
educational, professional and religious background etc.);
Realization Stage: Immediately after the passion stage, may be after
a year or two or even less, one fine
morning , one of them or both of
them realize, no , we are different people.Some thing is wrong some
where; some other forces start building up, create misunderstandings,
confusions and conflicts etc. Clashes of interest, differences of
opinions about running the life in the REAL World start popping up.
Rebellion Stage: Differences and conflicts created / developed , now
generate further aggravations leading to SEPARATION or COMPROMISES;
traditionally people tend to compromise, continue living with each
other ever after knowingly fully well their conflicts and
differences.But, in present days, where the tolerance has been
reducing , people opt for separation and think of alternatives.(
superficial values, comparisons, superiority/inferiority complexes
play dubious role in separation ); Marriage as a contract is broken.
Stage of Compromise:After a short lived stage of
realization and
rebellion, Marriage is accepted as a compromise. In fact, Marriage is
generally a compromise. Some people accept it as a matter of fate,
some as a matter of fact, but they accept to live together. Children
start coming, equations change, family starts developing and growing.
Joint responsibilities change the spousal relationship to
parental
relationship of children. It moves on, Life goes on.New Relationships
start developing......
SAND WITCH STAGE:Around the age of 40 years or so, persons are in a sand witch stage
struggling with the responsibilities for children and aging
parents.Parents and children , both are important and need special
care and attention . Children need for their growth and development
while parents need for their diminishing system. Physically body
gets weaker in its over all functions ( digestive, circulatory,
respiratory etc. ) causing usual problems of
Diabetes, hypertension,
etc.etc.; Mentally they loose memory and understanding which further
aggravate the situation, casing anger, anxiety and worry etc.etc.
complex and compounded problems of aging parents;Very crucial time
for most of the people managing their own family and maintaining the
balance with the parents.With new socio-economic environment, the old
traditional joint or collective family system is being broken down
and individualized or unit system is being developed.. New approaches
are developing for the support and assistance for seniors or old
peoples.
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with changing situation globally over time ( Space and Time ) our activities, our
whole perception and cognition and hence the behavioral and emotional
patterns have been changing.
So, it hardly matters as who is who?Globalization has
completely changed this scenario,
though distances
have reduced geographically but increased socially and
psychologically ( so near but so far away from each other); NEW socio-
economic equation combined with and influenced by new technological
developments , creates another dimension in developing and sustaining
our relationships
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For meaningful, everlasting and strong relationship , mutual respect, trust,
attachment, commitment, care, love and affection are very essential
things , of course without any EXPECTATIONS from any one.----------------------------------------------------------------------
Among all the relations, the most respected relations are the
MOTHERwho gives the LIFE --the creator and
developer of individuals; the
TEACHER(S) who make /shape the LIFE and the
DOCTOR(S) who save the
LIFE , and the
MENTORS ( could be any person(s)- parents, teachers, friends ,
colleagues or any body in the society ) who give the directions and
meaning for the development and growth of the life.
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