Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

Search This Blog

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Family, relationships, and Marriage


Some thoughts:
FAMILY: ( परिवार ): केवल भाई लोग ( बहने/लडकियाँ  , नहीं)  , परिवार में आते है ! यह रिश्तेदार नहीं होते ! यह सम्बन्ध हमको, हमारे  प्रारभ्ध तथा हमारे पुरखों ने दिया है ! हमने स्वम् नही बनाया है !

Only brothers ( kin)  not the sisters come in the FAMILY; we do not make relationship in the family. it is automatically formed at the time of our birth ; this is natural relationship; This is given by our prarbhdh and parents/ancestors ;  it remains for ever whether you accept it or not ; recognize/value or not. It is there. According to our Vedic religion and our social structure based on it, WHOLE krm Chhetra  ( क्र्म्छेत्र )  is created with duties and responsibilities  of all the individuals  and accordingly we perform our actions to improve our DEEDS of this life . Hence, we have certain built-in obligations for each other.
Children of kin form 2nd generation or next generation of family and they are equally important as the family members.  All others out of the family are relatives ( रिश्तेदार )  and friends with different values and functions.! These relationships are established by ourselves according to the standard social norms. Sometimes, relationship with friends or specific individuals are  even stronger than natural/family relationships.
( though all relationships are important but in fact, relationships with the  (in-laws) members or the relatives  in the ex-family of the  girl are just very very formal; they were not there before the marriage of the girl and never there after ; just occasional  meetings with them  only with certain formalities; relations like father-in-law, ससुर, mother-in-law, सास, brother-in-law,  साला co-brother , सादू, , समधी, etc. are just irrelevant;  विय्र्थ के सम्बन्ध हैं  ); they are there because of their girl is now as our family member..

( कन्यादान के पश्चात, लडकी पर माँ, बाप का कोई अधिकार नहीं रह जाता! विवाह के पश्चात, लडकी, दुसरे परिवार की स्द्सिये हो जाती है , वो ही उसका घर होता है , और वहीं से उसका कर्म, कर्त्व्ये , क्र्म्छेत्र प्रारम्भ होता है ; जैसे नदी समुद्र में मिलकर अपना अस्तित्व खो देती है ;, नदी का समुद्र में मिलने के पश्चात, ना उसका  अपना  कोई रंग होता है, ना स्वाद होता है, ना उसकी अपनी कोई गति होती है ! उसी प्रकार,  उसको अपने नए परिवार में घुल मिल जाना चाहिए )

MARRIAGE  is the most  important socio-religious RITUAL in the family  which is self obligatory/mandatory for all the family members  to participate  ( not a formality as in the case of marriages in the relatives and friends ); परिवार के अनिय संस्कारों में, विवाह संस्कार सब से अधिक विशेष तथा महत्वपूर्ण है ! That provides us larger krm chhetra especially  for the  girls who do not have any social and religious obligations  in their parents' house ( no duties/responsibilities  except  to grow  responsibly for their own development and future ); their  krm chhtr starts only after the marriage  by assimilating totally in the new family  ; their duties and responsibilities start only after marriage as WIFE, as MOTHER  and other associated relationships  ( with mother-in-law .... etc.)
INVITATION for the marriage is  necessary as socio-religious and legal obligation ; given to relatives and friends and also to the members of the community as per the local norms.  The first letter is normally given to Shri Ganesh jee and devtas after pooja , then to others; it is a  part of our culture and needs to be extended with  very personal  touch . It is the invitation to the people for coming and attending the ritual/wedding ceremonies  and blessings the couple for their successful marriage with suitable gifts .
Well, with new socio-economic  structure with the effect and influence of globalization and hence changing situation, the concept of FAMILY , relationship and rest of it has  taken a different shape;
vales have changed, thinking  and  functions have changed. Society will soon adjust with new values , thoughts and functions etc.