Krishna Kant Singh

A strange story of my friend, K.K.; During my study for B.Sc. in BHU, I had many different kinds of friends, some good for going to restaurants/mess etc ( like Kr. Diwakar Vikram Singh, may be , I will write a seperate story about him ); for music, P.N.Agrawal, Victor Jeysellan; for visiting temples, Krishan Vallabh Paliwal, Roshan Lal Khandelwal, P.N.Agrawal ; etc. etc. but K.K. was a different kind of friend. He was lonely , isolated and reserved to himself. Perhaps, I was the only friend in whom, he could confide and talk about his personal life. He was very handsome, tall and princely like personality.I do not remember as how we became friends ( may be because I was very outgoing socially and used to be friend of any one ). I never had any thing in common with him like any class or hostel etc.I was living in Ruia Hostel while he was in Braucha Hostel.But we were very good friends though met only occasionally.
He told me his personal story at the time of departure after B.Sc.Examination ( he was quite emotional and said that to day he must share his secret with me). He said that he  was a son of a prostitute and he never knew as who his father is? though his mother knew who the father was but never revealed to him.She was moving from Lucknow to Faizabad to Ghazipur etc. according to her convenience, clients and market.She took care of KK very well from the childhood, kept him away from her own environment; sent him to the best schools for the best education as money was not a problem for her. Any way finally, he came for his B.Sc. to BHU in 1956 and passed his B.Sc. in 1958. Before departing from BHU, he came to me and he was very sad about our separation and departure. I gave my address but he told that he does not have one which is permanent but he will keep me in touch with his development and progress in life though , perhaps, will never meet again.
We left the BHU and Banaras to our respective home towns.It is then in September 1958, he wrote me from Calcutta that he has been admitted to Marine Engineering course with the influence of his auntie ( means another prostitute and colleague of his mother working in Calcutta; and those people responsible for his admission are the clients of this woman ). No letter or information for years; lost the contact for several years; then he wrote again that life is getting better and he is getting settled with his very lucrative job and posting in London, U.K.; then again lost the contact and I completely forgot about him as I got busy in my own job and family.
It was December 1976, I was preparing to join UI , Ibadan, Nigeria, one evening while shopping or roaming in Paltan Bazar, DehraDun, some one tapped me at my back. It was KK after 18 years of gap, but we did not loose time and our memory to recognize each other. He told me in brief that he is now posted at DehraDun as Regional Manager, UP.Industrial Corporation after his retirement from marine services ( normally marine services are of short duration because of hardship and nature of those services ).He gave his address of Rajpur Road ( probably, 74 Rajpur Road ) and invited me to visit him, his mother who now lives with him and his family.I visited him and his very happy mother and family; very satisfying for every one. He married this girl in London with his background then. He loves and respects his mother very much and the whole family , his children and wife, they just live like a normal Indian family. No body cares or cared to go into the details of the family background. He told me that that chapter is closed with this a new start. Great. Great mother, worshipful like a DEVI. She did all whatever she could do to bring him up to give a grand and fresh life. DESTINY, otherwise people are lost in the jungle of this nasty world.I left for Nigeria and now again 35 years have passed, no news of him. I hope and wish that he has nicely settled after his final retirement. For me, it is not easy to trace him back again.

My job as a CHEMIST

It is an interesting experience to write here. I never liked Chemistry after I have to drop from my B.Sc. Pt. I examination in Meerut College in 1956 because of Chemistry. I opted out Chemistry from my list of subjects to be studied in BHU. Instead of Chemistry, I chose Geology in BHU ( only consideration was any subject but not Chemistry hence Geology by chance).
I responded to an advertisement for job of a Chemist with Dyers Stone Limes Co at Katni (MP). I applied , got the interview , attended the interview at 10 Alipur Road, Delhi 6.The interview was with Mr. N. Macedo, the owner and the Boss of the Company ( I did not know at that time). He asked me a few questions about Chemistry; Mol. Wt. of HCL and how to prepare normal HCL solution etc. I did not know any thing of Chemistry and hence told the same honestly. He asked me as " who called you for the interview, you even do not have a B.Sc.Degree in Chemistry ? "Any way, Get your traveling expenses from our cashier. " I came out and settled the expenses with the cashier. As a second thought, I requested the Secretary of Mr. Macedo to see him once again. So, I saw him again and told that, I do not know Chemistry but if I can learn Geology at B.Sc. level, I can assure, I can certainly learn the procedures of Chemical Laboratory if told once by some one in Katni. I am prepared to go there of my own and without any salary. Give me chance for month and watch out if I can work for you. He told me to go for now and will see as what should or can be done.
After a few days, I received a conditional appointment letter that I am posted at Katni on trial for a month @ Rs.250/ PM + free accommodation. After a month , another interview would be conducted and depending upon the performance and success , appointment  would be confirmed.I accepted the offer and reached Katni, reported to the Chief Chemist, Mr. Bharginsa. To my surprise, I found another persoon, Om Prakash from Aligarh with the  same terms and conditions. He was with a postgraduate Degree in Chemistry.Mr. Bharginsa asked me to prepare normal HCL solution which I did not know how to do. He then remarked as who has selected me for this job? I have to say :" that black and short man in Delhi telling me that you will be teaching me the chemical analytic procedures for a month." He said with a surprise that "Do not you know that he is our Boss and that I am not going to teach you any thing ". A few days no work, I have been simply watching as what is going on in the Laboratory, certainly not with any disappointment or frustration or rejection. I was very much composed with any situation though it appeared that Om Prakash,s appointment was sure to be confirmed ( Mr. Bharginsa was interested only in him and the least in me ).After a week, Mr. Bharginsa left Dyers for Bombay to join Johnson & Johnson , leaving two of us to struggle in the laboratory. I picked up a book " Limestone and its products " which included chemical analysis for Limestone products , lime etc.( This included Tappi Method of chemical analysis for LIME which was the only one used here in the lab.) Well. I learned it quickly and did very precise analysis. Om Prakash was busy with bueretts and pipettes in the lab, I was going around the works and office to learn inside and outside activities of Dyers. I was reporting my observations and test results weekly directly to Mr. Macedo. So, it was not one month, it was two when he visited Katni. It gave me more time to learn more and adjust to various situations in Katni and with Dyers.Mr. Macedo called me and asked me as how do I like the place, environment and how long I would like to work with them. Sensing the positive attitude of Mr. Macedo, I reciprocated in positive, saying I would like to work as long as he would like.I was almost certain that I got the confirmation. Om Prakash was asked about chemical procedure etc.Om told me that I should prepare to pack off as Mr.Macedo did not ask me any technical questions.I simply said just let us wait and watch.The letter came in his name and he was happy before opening it. The contents were disappointing for him as he was asked to settle his account with the cashier and with a thanks and may be that he would be given an opportunity in the future if available. He got really very much disturbed and became abusive saying that these private companies prefer to have disqualified people etc.Any way, he did not know and forgot that private companies need some other attributes also besides qualifications. Any way, next day he left for his home.
In fact for these two months , we were living together  in the same house, sharing almost every thing. I  felt his absence .
Days passed, I learned many new things in the lab including the chemical analysis of  Fire Clay , Bauxite, and Limestone etc; experimented new products especially HYDRATED LIME ; I became very confident about my work after getting my analysis  verified by Shri Ram Institute of Scientific Research in Delhi. I noticed that Mr. Macedo was not only satisfied with my work but very happy with my approach of doing the work.
Hydrated lime was a great success when the product was approved by Pimpri Antibiotic Factory and they placed a huge supply order with us. Dyers and Mr. Macedo were surprised and happy to look at it and on my independent effort in this direction. Mr. Macedo came to Katni, being a Chemical Engineer himself, he designed the mechanical production system of hydrated lime ( that would have been simply impossible for me). There after, I took the charge of quality and production of hydrated lime. Dyers were the first to introduce this product in the market and it generated more substantial income for Dyers.When resigned after I got my admission for M.Sc.( Geophysics), Mr. Macedo reminded me for the words : " that I will work with you as long as you would like " and told Mr. Pinto Rosario, the Manager to wait for his arrival before he would accept my resignation and release me from the job. Mr. Macedo told me that he wanted to appoint me for the post of the Secretary of another coming up company, The Perfect potteries with very lucrative terms and conditions and offered  me several attractive options but I have to decline on the advice of my mentor, Prof. Raj Nath.I left Katni and joined BHU for my M.Sc. programme.
Another interesting episode to mention here was that Mr. Macedo requested me to go back in August for a week to Katni and give a week  training to his newly appointed Chemist. I did obliged him. But to my surprise and embarrassment , the new Chemist was no body else but the same Om Prakash.

For me, Dyers Laboratory was first to learn not only chemical analysis but many more other practical things of working in a private company and dealing in varied situations. I thoroughly enjoyed my working with them though it was only for less than six months. Iit was a great opportunity to have this Great experience of life.I remained in touch with Mr. Macedo for a long time; Mr Macedo was intelligent and a very dynamic person. Even after a few years when Dyers  established another Hydrated Plant at DehraDun , with Mr. Kapoor as the Manager, Mr Macedo requested me to be in touch with Mr Kapoor and help him. It was when I was working with ONGC as Geophysicist.

My First Job as a Teacher

After passing my B.Sc.(Physics, Maths and Geology ) from BHU, I could not get admission to my desired subject ( Geology, Geophysics and Law ) in 1958, I was looking for a job. I went to Ajmer for a job with DAV Inter College ( my visit to Ajmer , Khuwaja,s Durgha and Puskar ji ). In December 1958, I got a volunteer job with S.J. Inter College, Gajraula (Moradabad).I was given a room of 8x8x10 without any ventilation, windows, plastered walls or finished floor ( floor was only sandy) within the school,s campus and I was the only person living there. I used to go out to the farms for toilet, bath at the well outside the school campus, my breakfast, lunch and dinner etc. at a dhaba near railway station. My life was simple and regulated with no complaints what so ever. I was teaching Science, Maths and casually English to High school students. I enjoyed my teaching and students were very happy and satisfied. I became very popular among the students and colleagues.Management of the school was mainly Vaid ji and his son from  Gajraula village who established the school.Vaid ji,s son was headless person and he once came to the school and humiliated me before the students. I decided to leave the place and started looking for another job. I got a paid job as a chemist and left the place. Read about my next job; chemist.html.http://shubhkamna-davendra.blogspot.ca/2010/07/my-job-as-chemist.html My students and colleagues were really sad on my departure. In such a short period of a month, I got so much love and affection from them.
Every place gives some experience. I got very rich experience of living in such a substandard place with very poor lodging and boarding conditions though enjoyed my teaching. Got first hand experience as how these private schools run like a commercial venture with thumb rule kind of management and fraudulent practices..
It was a very good assignment , without any perks but with rich experience.

MY Father; last moments with him

July, 1973,; My father was very sick with broken hip bone at home , I received a telegram from home that I must immediately reach home. I did reached home immediately by first available train. As I reached home, my father was very emotional and started crying .... repeatedly mentioning that these are his last days, he is going to die soon. It was very emotional moment for me too. We took him to Bijnor District Hospital. ( How I managed to take him to Bijnor with his back broken bone ???; Also that why my younger brother left him in that condition?? of course , others were in their place of working away from the town ). He was admitted and taken good care immediately, given a place in semi-private ward for recovery.Myself and my mother were taking care of him. Through out , he was on Glucose drip , his condition never improved, worsening day by day. I have been planning to shift him to Dehra Dun.It was 25th July 1973, in the night that his condition got worst. To my ignorance, I could not notice that he was under heart attack. Doctor on duty was so careless, sleeping all the time. Even on my repeated requests and approach, he never attended him , just gave him Bromide mixture to calm down/ relax the system. In the early morning ( 26th July, 1973) , I have to call the Civil Surgeon, so nice of him, he immediately attended him and arranged the Oxygen cylinder. He came to visit him several times, told me that he was under severe heart attack and looking at his health condition, it would not be possible for him to survive, rather, it is matter of a few minutes and advised me to take out the Oxygen and let him breath naturally during his last moments. He did ordered to remove the cylinder and he died just after a few moments.It was Lala Gyan Prakash ji, Mahesh's father who was on his bed side, closed his eyes and covered his face.Terrible moment for me. He was staring at me as perhaps, he wanted to say some thing but unable to say as his tongue was speechless. He looked helpless to express himself but folded his hands for greetings. I wonder that he had the sense of Greetings..He died in peace; I did not notice any fear, pain or regret during his last moments.
Perhaps, he could have been saved if timely help would have given to him? Any way, he lived a meaningful and purposeful life by serving the people and the community from the core of his heart.
My mother left on previous evening for Ekadshi fast and prayers at home hence, she was unfortunate to bid farewell to her husband;
No body else , my brothers or sisters was present at this time. I was all alone.
I could not cry, though broken completely and thoroughly accused myself not to take care of his ill health during his living time;Regretted but for what use now?
It was my well wisher and friend, Mahesh who arranged every thing for his funeral, taking his body to my home town, JHALU in a truck and then to Ganj near the bank of Ganga for final funeral etc.
It was about 10 AM when I reached home , my mother was still worshipping at home.
My brothers came later , never bothered to ask rest of the things as how we managed to look after him in the hospital or should they share the cost / expenses of funeral etc.. As unconcerned as they were and they are even to day.
My father wanted to see his grandson, so I have to call Virendra who brought Malanki to Bijnor. My father looked very happy and satisfied after meeting my son.
This was the second death I witnessed in my life after the death of my grandfather on July 1, 1953 ( also by severe heart attack).

Sachin

Yesterday, Sachin told that he has resigned from TCS to join EXPEDIA , a new job in USA.He was very happy on the new development. He wanted it , he got it, so there is a reason to be happy. I do not have here any comments to write except that is it. A success story of Shri Ladli Prasad Bansal , from no where to some where. I wanted him to fish in the open wider ocean where you have an opportunity to have big catch of big and variety of fishes. At certain point, he wanted to be in the dirty pond of limited opportunity, ( not even in the fresh water lake ) however, timely rescued to remain in the ocean. He is now back in the great Lakes of USA of fresh water from the ocean . Still OK , as he knows now as what is what and he can always manage to jump from one opportunity to another and also the support and confidence of Surbhi. Sachin ( Born on 12th. September, 1979 )is the youngest child and only son of Rajendra Bansal and brother of three sisters. He was certainly groomed by his grand father who loved him the most and had very high expectations from him.
It was July 2002 when I visited India. I went to visit Saharanpur as Rajendra was quite sick and weak; very sentimental and worried about Sachin, s career and job etc.He was looking for an opportunity for Sachin as mechanical engineer with the help of my sources and resources ( Anil Garg , one of them ). His own awareness about the recent trend of job market was limited , obviously because of his limited exposure. I have to do some ground work to motivate the young mechanical graduate just graduating from an engineering college in Karnataka ( BIET, Davangere ) ; not very clear about the wider job market and opportunities in the field of Information Technology. He was going after management courses- MBA programme, no doubt very lucarative but it is not for every one and not any where. IT was/is the open and wider field of vast expansion and opportunities for any one. I remember, I have to explain him the concept of the historical development of modern human society from Homosepians-Ago-Society-Industrial society after scientific revolution - to now INFORMATION SOCIETY. I was trying to convince that the future is to enter any aspect of IT to be successful in the career and life , now fast growing Information Society. He was not convinced initially but I continued to encourage and motivate him through phone calls and e-mails etc.I do not remember as how after wasting some time ( about six months or so ) got convinced about IT and joined the recommended C-DEC course at Pune ( completed the course in 2003 ) . Thank God, he came to the right track , it was a great relief to me and I was happy that I did my job to the satisfaction of Rajendra. His father was also relieved from the worries of Sachin,s job and career etc.Rest is the long story , perhaps my e-mail messages to Sachin , phone conversations etc. may reveal the whole story of my continuous persuation and motivation for certain things to do and others not to do.
Well adapting IT from Mechanical Engineering , itself was a great noteable change, the rest of the later part, switching the job to TCS and getting married to Surbhi- a very reasonable girl are just the sequences or consequences of one single development.
Later in 2005, on my next visit to India, I advised Rajendra not to go for traditional marriage system of our region, for local references and dowery etc. but for a good girl and good family try through matrimonial advertisement etc It is time to do that for the marriage of Sachin. He agreed to the basics of it and rest of it is the result of that effort- a good girl, Surbhi with a much better family background of his own.

Story of Grace Peter

We came to know about Grace Usha Peter only a couple of years ago , introduced by Mrs. Prem Lata Bhardwaj.Born on 12th. October, 1960, she was known as Usha Kanojia before marriage to Surindar Peter.Immediately after the marriage ( she married against the wishes of her parents and family to a strange christian living and working in Canada ). He was a widower with two children.She was married at the age of 20 years in 1980 with a person of different faith and culture and perhaps about 20 years older than her.Peter being an intelligent, selfish and clever person lured her for the glamor of Canada. Understood her as simple, modest and innocent person; took her not only as his wife but a care taker of his children, for his personal pleasure , comfort and satisfaction ; also as the maid servant in the house.He was always suspicious about her as she was young, beautiful, innocent , ignorant and care free type that she may run away with any person in Canada as she came with him from India with out the consent of her parents.So, he will take all precautions in the beginning keeping her indoor and locked. Later, he took the advantage of her beauty and youth for his personal benefits . Any way, there was nothing normal right from the beginning and he manipulated her for each situation. Cumulative effect on Grace was certainly psychological causing her mental and other health problems. In her married life, she has been tolerating Peter up to a point and there after, she moved for separation and divorce etc. The same same sad story of USA and Canada.I feel her condition as miserable. I wonder that one day at least one of her children , the daughter, Pamela will understand her plight and realise as how her father has manipulated and mistreated her and brought her to this miserable condition.

Sameer,s Health

This incident is about the ill health of Sameer during April-July, 2000. It was when he was living at 3348 Paradise Avenue, Hilliard and we were living in Southfield. In March 2000, he took us to Windsor ( Canada) for immigration, then he was OK with his health but in May when we were moving to Windsor, he came from Columbus to help us. It was very shocking for us looking at him, his poor state of health. He came and looked totally exhausted , just went to relax. It never happened before. we never saw him so weak and quiet. He did not take any thing for his dinner. He had no appetite. Next Day , we were to move, he was unable to move a single thing. It appeared as he was trying even to move himself with great difficulty. Any how, we moved. We went to Hilliard and stayed with him. His condition was pitiable. He will go to office and he will come back, will sit in the corner of his sofa, exhausted, quiet and kind of helpless.He had no appetite even for a sip of tea and whatever he will take will aggravate his situation, perhaps of hyper acidity. Did not know as what was happening but certainly some thing related to his digestive system. Day by day his situation and condition was worsening. We were very much worried about his health. It was surprising that Ritu did not notice or did not understand the gravity of the situation. I did not notice that she was worried or taking any care about it.All kinds of tests were conducted including colons copy.though his condition was so bad with so much low energy but he was quite composed and balanced in his actions and dealings. I discussed with Dr Suresh Kumar and Dr. swarup, at this point they were also worried, suspecting colon cancer.Finally I took the appointment with Dr. Ramachandran who conducted a few tests in traditional Indian style and diagnosed a kind of parasitic bacteria and deficiency of iron etc. within a week, with his treatment, there was remarkable difference and his health started improving and got normal after some time. Good relief to all of us.

The Zoo

Sameer, Ritu, Sarvesh and Satvik went to visit the Zoo to day. I asked Sarvesh as how does he like that the animals are kept in the cages , they could have lived with full freedom in the forest ? He replied , he likes it as the animals get their free food without any effort , otherwise, in the forest they have to hunting for food and at times go hungry; secondly, they have been living in their habitat not in the cages really.
It is an extempore reply from a child of 7 years old child.

Family

May be that this is a new trend in educated modern families that the conjugal relationship either disappearing or reducing.I observe in many families that the wife and husband have been living almost independent life as most convenient or suitable to each individual. Family Communication is either broken or minimum with no healthy conversation or discussion. No body motivates or discourages the other just living independent life nothing in common, as it used to be , the breakfast, lunch or dinner, the timings, tastes or likings etc. Every one has his / her own way of managing the affairs. Is it union or family? It is the influence or effect of education or what ? Is it good , bad or OK? What would be the long term consequences for individuals or family ? For me, it appears to be very discomforting situation.One should should live in harmony with cooperation , caring for each other and mutual interests.In our own family of Sameer and Ritu , the situation is not different. Even, if we are at the dinner table, we are with different kinds of things not only different kind of food.

Our coming to USA

After our retirement from Ethiopia, where should we settle down , was a big debatable question for us. I remember that we thoroughly discussed the issue with our friends especially Sandhawalia and Prof. K.N.Singh who with their own background and experience and insight very strongly suggested us to go back to India and settle down over there. But we were highly biased about the welfare of our children and focused our attention that our priority should be that they must settle down in their married life and with their families. And this will not be possible unless we are there.
We planned and finally came down to live over here ( doubt, that we really wanted to settle down here ). We are proved wrong and they proved to be right. It is only after some time when we reassessed the situation, our decision and action, we feel sorry by coming here. If I committed a mistake by switching over from Geophysics to Librarianship, by leaving India to Nigeria, Ethiopia etc. was a blunder and certainly moving to USA is much more than a blunder and continuing to live here in our aging lives is what ??? , we do not know. where we stand to day is not even assessable.
I never had social , communication and psychological problems what I experienced over here especially with my own children.I know that I was never good at managing the finances but, perhaps, with my savings and retirement benefits etc. we could have survived better with greater satisfaction in India. As I was forced here ( because of our living here and the glare of this place ), I almost gambled with my finances by putting it all in the stock markets and loosing all of it. Not only loosing all, but even incurring the heavy debts of $50,000/- or so. I really feel, sorry, sad and sick about this self created and forced situation on me. Thank GOD that he provided us some safe heaven- the immigration to CANADA where Government of Canada has been taking our care for our survival- the shelter and living.
I always thought my children are my investment and I can always rely on them. But I feel sorry that I have been putting unnecessary burden on them instead of helping them as most parents are supposed to do for their children.
Only consolation is our grandchildren. They are very lovely , interesting, caring, loving, affectionate and intelligent. We have been with them very closely since their birth which is a very rare opportunity for most grandparents to enjoy the company and close association with their grandchildren.I do not know any who has that kind of opportunity what we have.
Who knows as what is good, or better or could or would have been worst.
Davendra K Gupta

Nany in USA/Canada

Nanny is a very important person for working parents in USA and Canada ( or perhaps, any where else ) and if there is no body else in the house to look after the child. Nannies may live in or out, like other domestic workers, depending on their circumstances and those of their employers. Most people in Canada and USA like and wish to call their parents to support their children while they are at work. There are so many stories about nannies and their careless handling of the children. However, the parents are helpless if left with no other alternatives but to employ a nanny.
There are several professional agencies to search or provide a nanny of your choice. Salaries are high , say up to $ 500.00 per week with perks like a living accomodation and free meal etc.

A nanny may perform tasks such as:

• Providing childcare during the hours agreed upon with the employing family
• Supporting the physical, social, emotional, creative, and intellectual development of the children of the family
• Protecting the children of the family from harm and ensuring that they have a safe environment
• Preparing appetizing and nutritionally-balanced meals and snacks to the children of the family
• Maintaining good communication with the parents, informing them of each of their children's development and concerns in behavior
• Maintaining the cleanliness and neatness of the house as affected by the children of the family;

Parents in USA/Canada, in fact are asset to their children as they not only care the children but also do all other jobs in the house and they are there for 24/7; Some time back, a friend of ours told a story of her experiences living with her daughter and taking care of her children. Point blankly, she told that she has become Nanny from Nani and she no more can withstand the stress and pressure being there.It was not only taking care of the children but doing all the jobs in the house as both the parents were busy whole day. She was more frustrated with the attitude of the parents as they will not care of the children even after they are back or during holidays. During that time, they were going out for fun, fair and festivals, and parties etc.leaving the children at home under the care of the lady in the house.Got tired and one fine morning moved out to live independently in her own apartment.She further mentioned that was a great relief.
Recently, my friend , D.K.Trehan and his wife, Sheel came from India when their only child and daughter was expecting a child in New Jersey . They have to stay back here for six months taking care of the mother and child. Often, they mentioned their day to day experience and told that it is a tough job especially taking care according to the local norms and standards ( introducing their own old/ traditional way of care is almost impossible ). At the time of their departure, they expressed the relief and their helplessness to stay any longer. Their daughter employed a local nanny for 7AM to 7PM - a young girl of 23 years to take care of the child . They will be paying $500.00 per week and free meals etc.I even suggested them to employ a little aged lady from our community, perhaps could have been better and more reliable.
Davendra K. Gupta

My sister in USA

It was a surprise call from my daughter, Sapna that I should call Sachin right now. I called him immediately. The call was taken by my younger sister Rajo. It was surprise. She has just arrived USA only yesterday along with her daughter-in-law, Surbhi and her daughter Tuk Tuk from Pune, India. Sachin was already here on an assignment to Microsoft from TCS.
Later, I came to know that Surbhi has also come on an assignment from TCS.
Great opportunity for my sister to visit USA which would not have been possible otherwise. I will seek the possibility of her visiting us in Dublin, Ohio. I t would be nice if she could make it.
I was happy that she has come here and would have an opportunity to look around this country. But at the same time, I was sad as I recollected the memories of her husband , Rajendra. Rajendra spent his whole life as a frustrated and disappointed man. No doubt that he was intelligent and capable person. He would have been a different person provided an opportunity was given to him.I have full respect for him and he too had for me.He died prematurely , did not see the light of the day. The day was rising now with his son well placed, married and successful in career etc. He would have been very happy now on these developments.
However, I wonder, as how she will be to go around alone unless all of them go together. She would have lot of restrictions;
1. language; she may not be to communicate locally to express herself;
2. If both of them are going to work, then she has to look after their child, Tuk Tuk full time as a baby sitter , hence wont be able to get of the home. she may keep herself busy with house hold choirs like cooking, cleaning etc.
3; socialization; social isolation is a normal problem for all of us in USA and Canada , more in USA where every one is busy in his own affairs and prefers to live with himself; 4; Health; for any one, health is a big issue without health insurance. I wish that TCS covers her health insurance as dependent parent.
whatever, I can imagine that she will get tired of this place after some time. After how long , that depends .....
Nanny is a very important person for working parents in USA and Canada ( or perhaps, any where else ) and if there is no body else in the house to look after the child. Nannies may live in or out, like other domestic workers, depending on their circumstances and those of their employers. Most people in Canada and USA like and wish to call their parents to support their children while they are at work. There are so many stories about nannies and their careless handling of the children. However, the parents are helpless if left with no other alternatives but to employ a nanny.
There are several professional agencies to search or provide a nanny of your choice. Salaries are high , say up to $ 500.00 per week with perks like a living accommodation and free meal etc.
A nanny may perform tasks such as:Providing childcare during the hours agreed upon with the employing family Supporting the physical, social, emotional, creative, and intellectual development of the children of the family Protecting the children of the family from harm and ensuring that they have a safe environment Preparing appetizing and nutritionally-balanced meals and snacks to the children of the family Maintaining good communication with the parents, informing them of each of their children's development and concerns in behavior Maintaining the cleanliness and neatness of the house as affected by the children of the family;Parents in USA/Canada, in fact are asset to their children as they not only care the children but also do all other jobs in the house and they are there for 24/7; Some time back, a friend of ours told a story of her experiences living with her daughter and taking care of her children. Point blankly, she told that she has become Nanny from Nani and she no more can withstand the stress and pressure being there.It was not only taking care of the children but doing all the jobs in the house as both the parents were busy whole day. She was more frustrated with the attitude of the parents as they will not be able to take care of the children even after they are back or during holidays. During that time, they were going out for fun, fair and festivals, and parties etc.leaving the children at home under the care of the lady in the house.Got tired and one fine morning moved out to live independently in her own apartment.She further mentioned that was a great relief.
Recently, my friend , D.K.Trehan and his wife, Sheel came from India when their only child and daughter was expecting a child in New Jersey . They have to stay back here for six months taking care of the mother and child. Often, they mentioned their day to day experience and told that it is a tough job especially taking care according to the local norms and standards ( introducing their own old/ traditional way of care is almost impossible ). At the time of their departure, they expressed the relief and their helplessness to stay any longer. Their daughter employed a local nanny for 7AM to 7PM - a young girl of 23 years to take care of the child . They will be paying $500.00 per week and free meals etc.I even suggested them to employ a little aged lady from our community, perhaps could have been better and more reliable.