Mahesh: My best friend

Mahesh Prakash, son of Shri Gyan Prakash ji from one of our family wing (Our ancestral family became too big, so it was known by its three different wings, namely mahelwale, kothiwale and our own wing.)- kothiwale.We were childhood friends. We were together in Chandpur and later in Meerut. Later he went to study Law in Lucknow University and I went BHU for my further education. We were known as the best friends .There are so many things which will will always remain in my memory. He was caring , dependable and most trustworthy person I ever had around. We had very clear understanding about each other, each other's feelings, emotions and needs.
He was not very intelligent but quite witty and sharp in conversation. He was always practical in his approach. He never had any second class in any of his examinations though in Law as there was no third division in that subject. He had several sisters and one brother . All his family members including his parents were living with him in Bijnor since he started his legal practice. He was fortunate having the succession of the most famous lawyer of Bijnor . Shri Jagdish Prashad left for the High Court leaving behind his office to be taken over by then his legal assistant, Mahesh. He took over nicely and within very short time he was very successful lawyer in Bijnor and became very popular in the District. Earned lot of money, constructed a big and nice house in civil lines; He took the responsibility of all his family members; sisters got married; brother got educated; He loved his family and took good care of all of them. He had earned all the means and resources. I feel sorry and sad that he could not do much for his own family- two daughters and a son as he died young prematurely leaving all of them on their own fate which was really bad for them. He died young at the age of fifty only with a prolonged illness of Neferitis Syndrom; perhaps, he could have been saved if his kidney would have been replaced timely. Knowingly or unknowingly, no body took care of his poor health what he deserved. My last meeting or to say departing meeting was in one of the evening when myself, Suresh and he had dinner together in his house. His office was taken over by his assistant, Subhash who later became very successful and popular like him. His parents died soon after his death as they were under great shock and stress because of their beloved and worthy son ; his son could not complete his education and entered into bad company and developed bad habits. His whole family was dislocated, had all kinds of problems; sold their house in Bijnor, shifted to Ghaziabad; almost ruined; rising to the top and then falling to the bottom; terrible end of his name and fame etc.A pure play of destiny. Rise and fall was dramatic and very sharp. I have yet to see so sudden rise and so sudden fall and such a case of pure play of fate and destiny especially of his wife Usha who has gone through all this play. A wonderful family with all happiness, riches and resources broken down to almost nothing. 
It looks like that he came for a purpose to settle down his parents family who all of them nicely settled.
July 2012: Virendra told me that his wife Usha died of blood cancer recently. I simply said that it is good for her that she is relieved from all these long sufferings. In fact she suffered in so many ways- financially, physically mentally, and socially . A lady who lived like a queen in riches and style, lived in rags and in miserable conditions after the death of her huuband.
I feel sorry and sad about his family. At time to time, I feel about him, his absence and his family. He will ever remain in my memory.

Status of daughters ( girls ) in our family

In general, the status of women in our society used to be very poor which of course has changed and improved a lot of recently with new developments in women education, awareness of rights, changing socio-economic environment in new trend of globalization, media etc.The status of daughters/ girls in our family , not of women ( daughter-in-laws ) , if I look back to several generations back was very poor. I could recollect the data upto the generation of my grandfather; My grandfather were five brothers and only one sister- RAM KATORI, married in Nehtaur; now completely forgotten family.I wonder if anyone  knows about her and her family? I observed ( during my childhood time ) that out of five brothers, she used to come to only our place at least once in a year. She used to come by herself alone , perhaps without any invitation or escort. She had two sons, I never saw the elder one, Shri Musaddi Lal ji, though I knew and met several times the younger one- Shri Damodar Das as he used to live with his sister, Smt Daropdi Devi in Chandpur. We knew  Buwaji, the daughter of Dadiji and her family as they lived in Chandpur. We had very close contact with them. I wonder if any of her brother cared for her not that they did not love her. Perhaps, she was the next to my grandfather ?
In the next generation of my father, the three brothers had one sister, CHAMELI DEVI, Married to Shri Ram Kumar Arya, Dhampur. The same story with her. I never observed that she ever visited her two other brothers, she used to visit only to our home in Jhalu, alone ; I never saw Phupaji visiting anyone in our family.She is also forgotten and her family is simply not known to most of us except my younger brother, Lakshmi Narain who lived with her for some time. I wonder if Rakesh or Dinesh know her and her family at all. I wonder if the same situation remains with the daughter of other grandfathers; though I know , Smt Sumarni Devi , daughter of Shri Chhangi Mal ji; and some of the daughters of Shri Behari Lal ji, especially Gyan Buwaji who used to live in Bijnor. Indraji, Kamlaji and Ramlaji, three daughters of Shri Har Prasad ji were quite known to many of us as that family was most visible
Among five of us, we had two sisters; One is dead prematurely and another younger one is widowed about two years now. Let us evaluate their situation; Lakshmi and her family is almost forgotten except for special occasions; Nobody cares for them; I am not saying about the reasons as why is it so.
With the exception of special occasion like wedding , daughters in our family were not seen much.
In my next generation, we have Sapna and her brother Sameer; Manish and his sister Radha and Ankur and his sister Dolly.Considering the effect of globalization, limitation of time with individuals, increasing distances and personal problems and priorities, I wonder that situation would be any better of our daughters in the family.
Cousins are cousins, who cares for them, relationship with them is very loose and fragile and fades away with time.
During our generation, Time was not the constraint; everyone had enough time for each other; Distances were small, most of the relatives used to live within 50 miles or less; most of the relatives were known to each other very well and closely; visits were quite frequent and very routinely on special occasions and festivals, though the means of transportation were very poor- Bullock carts or motors lorries on some routes , if not every day, once in a week or so. Fairs and festivals were the occasions when people used to meet each other.